I may put off going to Portland for another week. My brother wants me to shoot some photographs for his band on Friday night, and possibly on Tuesday as well, so I either need to leave tomorrow and return Friday, or wait until next week. I am avoiding coming to a real decision, and I don't really know why. I want to, but there are people I want to see here (well two anyway, my wife and Max). My wife's coming home on Wednesday, and we need to go pick up boys togethor (I never actually bother trying to pick boys up, but we go anyway). I miss her. We've been so close for four years now, no more like five, and we still need to go to the Church of Elvis in Las Vegas to officialize our fake marriage. That's coming up in the end of the summer, hopefully. We'll see though.

I want everyone. I want some people in particular. I want a whole lot of shit. I feel like I'm never going to get anyone I want. I'm hoping this is one of those situations where if I stop wanting, the persons whom I want will come up behind me and hit me over the head with a two by four made of kisses and affection and love that I always miss out on. But can I stop wanting? I hope so. It would make being a teenager so much easier.