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All Or Nothing

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[2001-09-25]-[12:40 p.m.]

Look at you, so scared to grow up. And you know that I'm scared too. But I know I've got to move on 'cuz I can't stay stagnant like you. So I'll try to pick up the pieces and learn from mistakes in the past. Aren't you sick of hiding from your future, living every day like it's your last? And you say your life's fucked up, you've got nothing but bad luck. You're sick of crying and sick of trying and you're ready to give up. You see your problems all put together pointing at you like a gun. But things look better if you seperate them and deal with them one by one. If you want to quit, and quit forever, then get the pain over with fast. But if you want to play the game, don't play the game half-assed. Now it's all in front of you. You're still looking down. Why don't you get your shit together? You've come this far, why give up now?

-----'Pick Up The Pieces' by Crimpshrine

I was listening to this and it hit hard. I am tired. I am waiting. I hate waiting. I really am a big sucker for instant gratification. With everything. But I'm happy. And I'm content. And I've got all I need.

I'm hearing a lot about some old friends whose life isn't working out for them. It's tough to hear about. I'm not ready to give up yet, but I'm getting the feeling a lot of people I know are. It's sort of sad. I wish life wasn't as hectic for everyone. It's really not that bad. Life's not, I mean. It's hectic, but so what? Make the fucking best of it, that's what I'm trying to do. Wake up in the morning excited about the Santa Cruz sun, or my skateboard on the floor taking me to the grocery store to get cooking supplies. Or excited about the Klasse Kriminale record I just got from the record store. Stay excited about the boyfriend who stands by me, always. Just stay excited. 'You've come this far, why give up now?' Why? Thank you, Aaron, for that.

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