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All Or Nothing

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[03.02.03]-[3:14 a.m.]

Dear Jonathon,

How the fuck do you know about who I'm sleeping with? If you are at least going to pretend to know who is sleeping in my bed, you should probably know that I'm queer. I fuck guys. I have a BOYfriend. Daniele isn't sleeping with me. Neither is Caitlin. These are friends. Some of us can have freinds we aren't fucking. Maybe you can't. You only have students you want to fuck. Boys and girls, I never noticed a difference in your attitude. You just wanted to fuck them all. The little ones. The cute ones. The shy ones with a literary bent, you fucking pedophile. You come to New York, and you talk to MY friends about who is staying with me. Without even knowing. She didn't even stay with me for one fucking night! She stayed - with her dad - in a hotel room in midtown. I live in an apartment downtown. Why do you feel obligated to tell my friends, insinuating the sex I'm having. I'm not fucking anyone but my boyfriend. And you're a fucking teacher, why should you care about your students sex lives. Especially mine. We aren't exactly sympatico, ever since that incident my senior year.

I have a boy that I'm in love with. You don't know anything about that. So why do you presume to know that I sleep with these girls. That tons of girls spend the night at my house. The implication it sounds like you made is obvious. So what the fuck? You have no right to even attempt (a failed attempt) to make my friends, who you assume are my girlfriends jealous. You didn't even invite me out with you guys, but you feel like you have some right to talk about me and my sex life a topic of converstaion with my friends!

How long has it been since you've even seen me in person? Two years? How long has it been since I've had a class with you? Even longer. Wasn't it my junior year of high school? You know how long ago that was? I respected you at one point. I really did. Until you started puling this shit on me. Until the whole art thing. Until the whole 'kids aren't mature enough to view this' shit. Until you started making assumptions about my sex life - my sexuality. I'm gay you dumb fuck.

GAY.

Enough. It's three in the morning, and I need to sleep. I'll write to you in the morning. To YOU. You'll be hearing from me.

'We're not those kids sitting on the couch.' ----'Steak For Chicken'

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