[Diaryland] [Fuck Me, Please] [Past Glory] [Latest Flavor/Error]

All Or Nothing

[Information]

[02.28.03]-[2:17 a.m.]

I feel like the world's biggest failure. I can't do anything right. Anything. I fuck up every friendship, relationship, lover, school, health, fucking everything. I just fuck it all up. I say 'I love you' so much it doesn't mean a fucking thing any more to the one I love. I've been getting that same shit for years, and I still say it every other word. We want to have normal coverstaions, and we never do. It's always, 'god you're so great,' 'god i'm so lucky,' 'i love you so much,' 'you're wonderful.' I mean every fucking word of it, but that doesn't matter anymore. That doesn't fucking matter. At all. Ever. I scare myself. I'm so tired. I wanted to de earlier tonight. No, not die, just pitc black.

I want Dexter to be happy. I want him to have his childhood back, all the things he wants. I want him to hate his father, and he won't. None of it. And as hard as I try, I can't fucking help it. And I love him. And I know he doesn't want to fucking hear it anymore. He wants normal conversations. And it's so fucking had fo me. And I want a tattoo. I want blood, and ink, and some pain.

'And who are you if you've got nobody? St. Peter gonna turn us away on the morning of the judgement day. You and me is hellbound hearts.' ----'Hellbound Hearts' by Black Cat Music

[previous]-[next]


[0]people have left me moral support for this entry.
-
Click here to corrupt my morals or leave moral support?

Did you miss these last few, most recent entries?

[State Penitentiary] - [08.27.05] . [8:15 p.m.]
[Prison? They'd eat me alive.] - [07.28.05] . [10:49 a.m.]
[just watch him die] - [07.25.05] . [7:00 p.m.]
[Used To Know You] - [07.24.05] . [3:40 p.m.]
[Well I Know I Had It Coming, I Know I Can't Be Free] - [06.26.05] . [2:33 p.m.]

[Corrupt My Morals...Leave a Note at My Guestbook]