[Diaryland] [Fuck Me, Please] [Past Glory] [Latest Flavor/Error]

All Or Nothing

[Information]

[2001-07-10]-[9:40 a.m.]

It's been a while, diary. Well, a day or two anyway. It's been good. For once, it's been fucking good. I feel good. I feel tired, but good. I wouldn't let Scott sleep here two nights ago, so I slept at his place last night. It was great. I have abandoned all hope of taking it too slowly. I guess that sounds bad, but I really wanted to do what I did. HE did too. It was lovely. (And just to make this clear, no real ass sex was involved. I don't move THAT quickly!) Hahaha. I really like him. It seems so quick, but I really want to ask him to be my boyfriend. Someone suggested that I don't phrase it like that, that I say, 'I don't really want to see anyone else, and it would be great if you felt the same.' Makes it much less scary that way. I think I may. But I've only known him for like a week or some shit. But I've slept with him (REAL SLEEP) almost every night, and I feel kind of weird keeping doing it without some sort of commitment. It is moot. I mean, neither one of us is really planning on seeing anyone else, and I don't know how either of us would considering we have been together every night. But still, I feel like I should ask, even if it is a bit weird.

I've heard weird things about Mason saying I lied to Max. I don't think I did. I don't know for sure though. Mason told me some things, and I related the idea, but not the exact phrasing to Max. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I didn't feel like I was breaching any confidence. Anyway, I'm hoping I didn't put words in his mouth that weren't there. I don't think I did. But it sort of sounds like he's mad at me. I really don't think I did anything. But I don't remember exactly what I told Max, so I can't really know for sure if I did lie. I didn't intend to, at any rate. I know that. I hope he's not jealous. Mason probably has reason to be, but I really hope he doesn't. I don't want him to, and I don't think he should. I didn't know Scott would have ramifications beyond me and my quest for a relationship with a boy that I actually really like. But I guess the world gets smaller every day. And there's nothing I can do about it. I don't know Mason well enough to really do anything anyway.

I'm (hopefully) seeing Max for lunch today. He said he would, after rescinding on our plans yesterday. If he doesn't, I think I'll be forced to murder him. BUt he will, he's good like that. Or else, he'll have a damn good reason.

I love honest people. I think I love some truth.

'Shame on you. I think you love, I think you love some truth, but you ran away and you just don't know what to do. You don't know what you got till it's gone.' ----'You Don't Know What You Got' by Joan Jett

[previous]-[next]


[0]people have left me moral support for this entry.
-
Click here to corrupt my morals or leave moral support?

Did you miss these last few, most recent entries?

[State Penitentiary] - [08.27.05] . [8:15 p.m.]
[Prison? They'd eat me alive.] - [07.28.05] . [10:49 a.m.]
[just watch him die] - [07.25.05] . [7:00 p.m.]
[Used To Know You] - [07.24.05] . [3:40 p.m.]
[Well I Know I Had It Coming, I Know I Can't Be Free] - [06.26.05] . [2:33 p.m.]

[Corrupt My Morals...Leave a Note at My Guestbook]