I am trying to forget people. There are a lot of people that I really don't want to remember right now. Either they hurt me, or they love me, or I don't have time for them or they don't have time for me and I'm fucking pissed about it. But it's true: I want to forget them. I don't have the time or energy to think about them. They're not worth it. Chris, Megan, David, Nick, lots of others. I spend hours obsessing over people that don't even think about me ever or don't care at all. And I care so much about these assholes that don't, have never, and will never know me. It's all been a shitload of horrible misunderstandings, miscommunications, bad tempers, bad manners, lying and a bunch of other shit, but it's fucking over so why can't I just leave it alone and deal with all the other things that I need to deal with before I leave?

I think about Chris a lot, though. I think about a lot of shit that went down over the last few years and I sometimes regret that I ever got into it. I think about Andrew a lot. I think about how he disappeared into Santa Cruz basically without a word and how I want him to like me and remember me but I know he doesn't enough to give me a call without me finding him first. I think about my brother a lot. But more than any of these people, I think about the people that are around that I love and that I'm going to miss and that I want to be with me forever that would choose to be here forever if they possibly could. I love that. And it's honest. And I love it. So fuck all the other assholes that lied to me for so long: you can all just fuck off. I'm over it. I may think about it, but I'm so over it, and I'm comfortable with it. Some of them know who they are, others don't. And that's cool. The ones who know, they know for a reason. Same for those who don't. I like it that way.

I am going to go eat. So I will see you, Diary, when I am happily moved into New York housing.