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All Or Nothing

[Information]

[2001-07-06]-[6:33 p.m.]

I'm in shock. I'm going to wait till I confirm it's truth before I relate it here. But basically it is one small ass world. Fuck six degrees of seperation, there's only like three in this case! So weird. But sickly, strangely validating at the same time. Basically, I will tell about it. Basically, Scott has connections to Max through a very odd stream of relationships. I like Scott. I like Max too (although it's different now). Max likes Mason. Mason likes Scott, so he won't give in to Max (if I understand right). I like a boy who was liked by the boy that the boy that rejected me likes. If that's not confusing, I don't kow what is. It's charming though. I like strange coincidences. No ones getting hurt by this one either. Mason, supposedly, was a little jealous, but nothing too bad I don't think. It's just that I assumed that these people had absolutely no connection. I know them through completely different sources. But it's funny and fun. This is getting to be a damn boring journal today.

I had a long fun conversation with Max last night. I had been at the CW Saloon seeing the Briefs (who rock out harcore seattle pop punk style!), and I was slightly inebriated. We talked a lot about Christopher in the last few days. We talked last night about this weird coincidence (Mason, Scott, Max, Me) and about my masturbation fantasies. How odd is that! I like the guy so much. It really has switched a lot in the last few days from being so romantic to being a not so romantic kind of infatuation/friendship. I am much more firmly convinced that he wants to be friends with me. That helps my piece of mind so much. It sort of seems like things are finally starting to work out in so many parts of my life. Now all I need to make things perfect is for Chris to grow up, change into a decent person and give me a call. But I know it's not going to happen. Why do I always get obsessive over people that I hate/love?

'I've got a new image; got a new outlook; it's decidedly sexy. Then again, I can't be satisfied. And broken hearts are counter-revolutionary.' ----'New Religion Every Day' by American Steel

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