In fucked up shit: I was just wondering about Chris. I don't see him since he's a long way away. I heard he moved to Bloomington, but I really have no idea. I don't know why he just came into my head. I guess when I try to think of fucked up pieces of my past he comes up sometimes. I just still can't quite put together what happened between us. I doubt he cares at all what happened between us. I think, no, I know it was only important to me, and I wonder if it continues to be. I don't think of him often; Scott comes to mind a million times more often. But when I think of him I wonder where he thought I was coming from? Was I in love with him? I'd like to say no, he's not worthy. But that's self-aggrandization, and it's not really true. I think I might have. I think he is an asshole. But I think I may have loved him. I certainly spent enough time on heroin thinking about him.

I've spent enough time letting this sit here: I'm done. write later.