[Diaryland] [Fuck Me, Please] [Past Glory] [Latest Flavor/Error]

All Or Nothing

[Information]

[11.01.02]-[12:36 p.m.]

So much for feeling amazing.... I'm feeling rather ambiguous today. I don't know which way to fall. And I do sort of feel like I'm falling. I had a shrink apointment this morning. I'm going to try to stick with this one for a while and see how it goes. In the meantime I have no friends and nothing to do so I took a Klonopin and I'm sitting behind books all day reading and taking it easy and sleeping and trying to relax in a situation in which it is impossible to feel comfortable. It's a conundrum, really. And I feel like JTs group has taken my mind off of this diary for a while, and I think that that might be good, since there is so much that I can't write here. It's so difficult. So fuck everyone.

I'm not doing heroin today, even though I want to, mostly because I talked to this guy Steve, and I talked to therapist, and I felt better after talking to both. And I got TWO packages today from the post office. I am officially a lot-lizard now. And I got candy from mum for Halloween. I was Elvis Costello. Even though he's not dead, exactly, he hasn't done anything worthwhile in 20 years so he's dead in my book. I dressed as him for Dan's party in Brooklyn the night before Halloween and last night I just wasnt' feeling it so I went to bed early and woke up early for my appointment. We'll see how it goes.

I feel pretty pathetic. Don't call. Write me, please, and on paper, that feels better.

Chuck

no quote today! Shock! I've never done that before, in years and years. Well, at least in a year and a half. or however long I've had this fucking thing going. Fuck it, I'm coming up with a quote:

'Think I got the threshold on too tight. Just restart and hope that everything will be alright.' ----'offline p.k.' by pinback

[previous]-[next]


[0]people have left me moral support for this entry.
-
Click here to corrupt my morals or leave moral support?

Did you miss these last few, most recent entries?

[State Penitentiary] - [08.27.05] . [8:15 p.m.]
[Prison? They'd eat me alive.] - [07.28.05] . [10:49 a.m.]
[just watch him die] - [07.25.05] . [7:00 p.m.]
[Used To Know You] - [07.24.05] . [3:40 p.m.]
[Well I Know I Had It Coming, I Know I Can't Be Free] - [06.26.05] . [2:33 p.m.]

[Corrupt My Morals...Leave a Note at My Guestbook]