Frank came back from 'LA LA land' (his words) yesterday. He e-mailed me again with a funny note. He's in a sad state. Girls, girls, girls, he thinks I'm lucky I don't have to deal with them. I geuss he has a point, but guys are hardly any better. I already talked about this, but now I feel bad for him. He likes a girl who lives 350 miles south of us. I've never had that particular experience, but it sounds bad.

Anyway, all school capture the flag is about to start, so I gotta go kick some capture the flag ass. Till later, dear diary. 'So, remember, out there, somewhere you've got a friend, and you'll never walk alone again!' ---- Cock Sparrer

(this is where the addition starts) Well, It's a little later in the day, and I figured I could ammend my diary a little bit. I didn't want to make a new entry, so I'm trying to use the edit feature. I'm not sure if I did the HTML right, I'm no techno-genius. Anyway, capture the flag was fun. I ran around and talked with Paul a bit. I got tagged every time I went to the other teams side, but it was fun anyway. We won the first game, and they won the second. It was cool, I didn't step in shit, which is saying something considering we were playing in the panhandle of Golden Gate Park, dogshitcentral.

I got an interesting e-mail today from this guy Chris (different Chris from the one I talked about previously, this one I only know from diaryland, chrisomatic.diaryland.com). He mentioned that he thinks it alienates people to use 'flaming' as a description. Made me think a bit about my view of gender roles. Let me clarify a bit about myself: I am not a 'straight-acting' gay guy. I am a gay guy. I don't act straight. I act like me. Whatever the hell that means. I try to be honest with myself. I have some effeminate qualities, but mostly I'm just like one of the guys. I think it's kind of ridiculous when some guys I know pluck their eyebrows, and get waxed and wear heavy makeup. It's only slightly more ridiculous as when girls do it. Then again, I probably only say that because I have been taught that by societal standards. Or perhaps it's anti-societal standards. You know, the hip thing is to be anti everything. And I guess I buy that a little too much, too. Now I'm just confusing myself. At any rate, I use flaming as adescription, I promised myself I wouldn't use the 'f' word (not fuck, the other 'f' word) as a description and I plan on sticking to it. My appearance isn't as a typical gay kid, I just look like a kid. You know, black or blue Dickies, polo shirt, t-shirt, or button-up shirt, sweatshirt (sometimes a little too small for me, I think it's cute that way), and a black jacket or my skinhead jacket with the fuzzy plaid inside. I'm not attracted to effeminate guys, or jocky guys, so I don't dress like them. I have friends like that, but even they seem like they are acting for a show. I don't know. They just seem a little fake to me. I don't want to appear that way. It's fucked up, because, since I'm thinking about it, and purposefully NOT doing something, it is an act. I don't need to justify my opinion, but I geuss I am anyway. I'm a hypocrite, so fuck it. No qualms about it.

I'm rambling, so, till later, goodbye diary. 'Tomorrow is always too late. Get out there and do something today' ---- (I'm not gonna say who this one's by because they were a fucked up band that has aweful, stupid, ugly, gross, evil, wretched politics. And I'm embaressed I listen to them.)