That was not supposed to rhyme.

I'm waiting for time to pass so I can go to Chicago. I'm tempted to just leave now, but I know if I do I'm just going to end up sitting around the airport for many hours. I'd rather sit around my house. At least I have a computer here, and music. Speaking of music, I forgot to pack music. I'll be back shortly....

Ok. I got music together and a cd player. I'm bringing too much shit with me, but I can't help it. It's going to be really cold, so I feel obligated to bring like six pairs of long underwear for three days. It's sort of silly. But what the fuck. It's all carry-on.

I wonder how much of this shit has to do with Scott. I honestly don't think about him all that much anymore. When I do, I get sad. I don't know if I'm all fucked up because I don't have him around anymore or if I'm just fucked up. I don't think it matters much. But I still wonder. I mean, I miss him. I guess that's all I'm trying to say.

We've been sort of fighting whenever we talk now. It's sort of a drag. I don't know if I start it or not. I just don't put up with any shit anymore, and Scott is quite adept at spewing shit. That's sort of mean, and I don't mean it to be. It's just, he doesn't always think about what he's saying before he says it. And I won't put up with it because I don't have to. And I don't need it. I wish I had a good example, and I don't. Sometimes I just argue with him because I want to. I mean, I start it. I know beforehand where a certain conversation will lead. And I continue anyway.