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All Or Nothing

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[12.02.02]-[1:14 a.m.]

So I made it back from Chicago in one piece. It was cool, maybe a little uncomfortable at times, but nothing I couldn't handle. We had a good time. The Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago is amazing. It was consistently good throughout the whole fuckin' thing, and there aren't very many museums that can make that claim. I left my cell phone charger there. My cell phone will run out of batteries tomorrow and I'm excited. I just realized that; I'm happy. I've always hated these fucking things, and now I have a few days without it. I don't even talk on the phone much at all. I can't believe I even own one. I've always bitched and moaned about them and now I'm a fucking moron with one, that forgets to turn it off at all the wrong times. I should move to L.A. I'd fit right in. Or Milan.

I can't wait to get the fuck out of Dodge and move out of this country. It'll suck to be so far from Berkeley, but at this point, I'm already three thousand miles, what's a few more thousand. I'll still miss home.

New York remains not home. I mean, it's sort of home. Just not 'home.' Not quite. I can't make that shift in my head. I just can't quite manage that yet.

I'm so fucking out of my skull. I'm not sleeping without taking pills. And I hate that. And I'm not addicted to the pills. I'm just sort of insomniac. So I take the pills. I'm glad I'm going to run out in a few days and I'll have to deal with no sleep but maybe I'll adapt and go back to normal.

Normal. That's such an alien concept.

'Now I need a part to hide in. Now I need a play. Wish that I could leave my room tonight. The fast attack on my compressor's way too bright.' ----'Offline P.K.' by Pinback

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