I'm really caught up in books right now, just because I bought a bunch of them yesterday. I started two of them, one's a book of short stories called 'Virgin,' the other is 'Catcher...,' arguably my favorite (and most resounding, personally) book. I'm enjoying spending more time alone. I'm so excited about going away. I'm trying to figure out if I actually want to drive, or if I want to see if I can catch a train up to Portland. Either way is cool with me, but taking a train would give me time to write, and read, and put a zine togethor. Driving would be nice because then I could get around once I got there. I don't really know. I have to call Amtrack and figure out how much trains cost. Either way will be so much fun. I'm hoping this trip will be as cathartic as my expectations. It's wierd, graduation is taking up little space in my thoughts. It should, but I could care less. Things are still going to be the same on Saturday, and then I'm going to leave next weeka and then they MUST change. I'll make them, but graduation doesn't even matter. A bunch of people are coming into town to come to graduation. I don't care. It's going to be a boring ceremony with a boring speech (by me) and then a boring sentimental lunch with family and friends. But Portland, that's not boring. That's damn exciting.

Max is still taking up too much of my thinking time. I need to stop. I want to be friends. I don't want to fuck that up by being obsessive.

'We are not to blame for seeing love is pain. We are not ashamed to say that love is pain.' ----'Love Is Pain' by Joan Jett