I think too much.

I think I do.

I want to know people that I have no right to know.

I want to fuck people I have no right to fuck.

Daniele is in town, and I had dinner with her dad and her and it was good times. I want to play scrabble with her. I want her to be here forever she is so amazingly special.

She really is like no other girl I have ever met. I like that. She's fucking unique, and not pretentious at all.

I have no crushes right now. That is weird. I always have crushes. I mean I like this boy in my calc class, and another in my writing class, but neither of them really qualifies in the category of 'crush.' I slipped my name and number to a really hot waiter in a restaurant last night on my birthday. I hit on him so hard. I was feeling really loose because it was my 20th bday and no one wants to fuck me right now. But I don't think he responded well. But who the fuck cares. I like it when I take action. Reaction doesn't matter so much, though it is nice. If he calls though, I have no clue what to say. I'd be shocked.

I have nothing to write. I don't want to die. Not yet. I have this impending death feeling though. Not like I'm going to kill myself, just that I'm going to die. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow for a full physical, and that will help me feel like I'm not going to croak soon. I found out today I am HIV negative, and that was a nice call. I didn't really think I could be, but you never know. I always used clean rigs and I never shared them, and I only really fucked Scott. No one else that had fucked anyone else. Nick Johnson doesn't really count since we were in Middle School.

Shit man, I am crazy. I am healthy. I am crazy. I want to believe.

I could tell. I am lonely.