I haven't been writing about my life lately. I don't know whether I will conitinue to or not. It doesn't really matter. I've had an interesting few days. A lot of stuff really has been sucking, but I don't mind too much. Caitlin is pissed at me, I think. I don't know if she should be or not. I accused her. She denied it. There's no way for me to know whether I was right in saying what I said. If she was doing it, she'd deny it anyway, if she wasn't, she'd surely deny it. So I can't know. But I had to say what I said. I had to. I hope she doesn't hold that against me. I mean, I didn't say 'I know....' I said, 'My brother saw something, and I THINK....' I also had a strange conversation with Max (internet conversation, that is. He doesn't have real conversations, at least, not with me.). We talked about sex a lot. It got kind of personal. I didn't mind, really. It sort of hurts to hear him, not complaining, but at lest talking about how he's ashamed of certain things that I would have been happy to change for him. It doesn't hurt too much though. I'm really trying to get over it. This isn't the end of the world. I like him, sure, but I'd so much rather concentrate on being friends than worry about the past and try to seduce him into bed with me or into a relationship with me. It's really not worth it. He would be worth it, but it's totally a lost cause. And I recognize that and would rather have a friend than ignore that. This is confusing, I know. I'm one confused little boy at the moment. But I'm not unhappy, and that's all that I really care about right now. Today's 4th of July, and I'm planning on going to work, and then going to a BBQ with Laura and getting extremely inebriated. Nothing like alcohol to make me both obsess over and completely ignore everything that is possibly going wrong. It will be fun.I'm still a little angry that so many people said they would go to the art show, but never came. I really wish people wouldn't lie. I'd rather get the painful truth, it hurts less. I told most everyone that when I asked them to go. But they STILL lied. That sucks. I was a real dick to Tera about it. She didn't deserve it; well, she didn't deserve it that much.
'The sun it shows. The sun it blinds. Best to keep your eyes, stare at the sidewalk lines. Let lies lie, don't let them shine.' ----'Sheild Your Eyes' by Jawbreaker