C: I hate you for never being there for me when I really wanted and needed you to. I hate you for being okay with yourself despite all evidence that you should hate yourself as much as I love you and hate you.

M: I hate you for being the only girlfriend I ever had and then hating me for so long. I'm glad we patched it up, but I'm still a little upset about some things you said. I hate it that you are so into being a popular scenester punk. It's not charming or attractive or exciting. It's fucking boring.

M: I hate you for telling on me all those years ago. I hate you for saying you were my friend and then doing all that shit behind my back talking about how dumb I was. I probably was dumb, but you were my friend, and you shouldn't have said that.

N: I hate you for thinking you are straight. I hate you for giving me the best relationship I've ever fucking had and then, in the middle of our last school year together, deciding that I fucked too much shit up in your identity and life to be my friend. No, I fucked too much stuff up for you to be my boyfriend. Fuck friends, I wanted a boyfriend and you refused and I hate you for it. You hate me too. That feels good.

C: I hate you for lying. And for doing drugs. I know where you are, and I know where it's going to go, and I hate it that you have to do what I did.

M: I hate you for not liking me like I like you.

B: I hate you for fucking up so many years of my life. Why couldn't you have been a little cooler to us? It wouldn't have hurt you, and it sure would have made those special years a lot easier on us, and on our sanity.

The sad thing is, these are the people that I love more than anything in the world. I love you. I want you. It doesn't die, it never does. I hate you more than I will ever tell you. But I love you all the same.

It's sort of sad. But it feels good to write it.