New York is strange. I'm ready to go home. I love Laura, but I wish Laura was back in Berkeley with me. I'm getting sick of not having my own place to go home to, of having a good stereo to listen to my cheesy records on. I've had a great few days, but I also have a lot of work to do and that is putting a big damper on these last days here. Laura's sick too, and that's not helping. We went to PS1 today to check out some modern art. Very strange stuff there. It's a cool museum, a lot more interesting than most of the museums I've been going to lately, but there was also a lot of crap. Modern art is such shit most of the time. Either it's boring or repetetive. A few of the installations were awesome though. I hope I can get some of my prints displayed some day. I'm looking for a cafe to put some up in. I'm supposedly on the list for this one cafe on Haight St., but I think the guy might have just been blowing me off, trying to get rid of me, because I haven't heard anything for a month or so. Whatever, I wish there weren't quite so many indefinites in my life. That's why I love math, there is almost always an answer that is right. And it's always the right answer; it won't change two months later. Calculus doesn't change, doesn't decide not to care about me and leave me. That's what's great about photography too. The pictures are permanent. The images don't change. They're not Harry Potter paintings, the people don't disappear and get ugly, and become the assholes that I used to call friends. I'm being redundant again, but it's my truth again today, as it was a few days ago the last time I wrote it.

I'm still feeling a bit strange in the sex department. I met a few cute boys on this trip, and I'm glad I did. But at the same time, I don't want any kind of long distance relationship. I want to start meeting people more in the Bay Area. Preferably, 18 year old gay boys that adore me, but hey, that's just dreaming. I wish it was that easy, didn't take any work. I don't understand how people get boyfriends without trying. I'm too picky, but I can't help it. That's why, once I like a guy, I usually like him forever, or at least for a long fucking time. Whatever, I'm having a good day, I know it doesn't sound like it. I'm ready to go out tonight. Who knows, maybe Grant will call. Ha! That'll be the day!