Before I read it.

But my impulse control was depleted.

He says a lot of things about me, a lot of negative things, on the computer. He says I am immature. He says the only reason he stays with me is because he needs a place to sleep. He says people complain about me because I get upset when he dumps me, which he used to do pretty regularly. He pretty much says I'm just a spoiled brat, emotionally damaged, immature, spoiled, a bad boyfriend. And then he asks me not to believe it. That that is just where he vents. But he says the same things when we argue. When he lets it all hang out, he says the same things. So what the fuck should I believe. I honestly don't know. I used to want to meet some of his computer friends. Now I'm just embaressed. And depressed. He says he doesn't care anymore what happens as long as he has a place to sleep. I don't matter. I don't matter. I don't matter. I don't matter. I don't mean anything. I don't matter. I don't mean anything. I don't matter. I don't mean anything. I don't mean anything. I don't matter. I don't mean anything. I don't matter. I don't matter.

What am I supposed to do now? I told him I read it. I don't lie to him. He doesn't lie to me either, I don't think. But he doesn't open everything up. It's not a lie. But he also doesn't tell me the whole truth. Just the parts that he wants me to hear, to believe. Just the parts that give him a place to sleep, food on the table.

He said over and over again about the prada shoes he bought. He complains about me a lot. He doesn't mention that I bought those shoes for him. Because I knew what they meant to him. I just don't know what I mean to him.

I'm still SAD.

Goodbye.