I got seperated for a week. Maybe less, maybe more.

I got hurt.

(Babyland stopped playing.)

I got a ride home. We talked a little bit. We went to a party in the Castro at this guy who works at our local bar/eaterie's apartment. Our apartment is nicer.

(I came home alone.)

He wanted a little time to socialize alone, without me.

(I was sick.)

All day, I was dopesick. I gave my brother some of my morphine and diluadid last week, so of course, I run out early, and I'm dopesick for two days before I see my doctor. I am stupid, and I am a drug addict. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this jam, the whole morphine/fentanyl/diluadid pain-management run around I'm in. It's a cycle and it's painful, but I have no options. I am sick. Today I threw up in the shower, over and over again. He answered the phone and told our neighbor to bugger off because I couldn't help myself. Then he came in the shower with me. It meant everything to me. Everything. (I ask him every day to shower with me, and every day he declines because he has issues being naked with other people, due to personal circumstances. I do not hold that against him, but it meant everything today.)

We are taking some time off, emotionally, at least, he wants to try. I am scared. I am hurt. But I will try.

I love him.