On a more serious note, I waited for my brother to show up with the car, but I geuss he stayed out of town throughout the day. It wasn't a big deal, but I wish I could have known. It was his 21st birthday on Wednesday, and he and his girlfriend went to Monterey for a getaway. Sounds like fun, being pampered in a hotel and spa for a few days. Someday I'll do that with my boyfriend, or who knows, maybe my girlfriend! Anyway, I told Daniel I'd be there at 8:00 to watch the movie, so at 7:30 I asked my parents to drive me. That was cool, I'm not allowed to drive their cars because my insurance won't let me (FUCK THE BUREAUCRACY). They gave me a ride into the City and I met Daniel's family. Their super sweet. I talked with his Dad about math, and about Reimann and Leibnitz (is that how you spell it?), and then a bunch of stuff that was way over my head. His dad studied calculus at Berkeley. I'm studying calc. at NYU next year. We watched the movie, which is painfully disturbing. His little eleven year old brother kept wanting to watch and we'd have to pause the movie to get their dad to kick him out. His brother was fucking annoying, but I geuss all kids that age are. They are incredibly demanding in the attention department. He was nice, just took too much attention to deal with. Daniel was nervous about his Dad watching the movie with us. It was kind of funny. I remember what it was like to be a freshman and worry about my parents censoring what I did and what I saw. Now I basically censor myself. I'm not acting so mature and all by saying that, I just remember being in his situation. And I wouldn't want to watch Happiness with my parents either, but he acted so suspiciously when his Dad walked in that I'm sure he just wanted to know what Daniel was so nervous about. It amused me. I love Daniel.

Afterwards, at about 11:45 I took the bus to the Bart train, and just made it on the last train home. I picked up the car and went back to the City to go to Popscene, the club I've mentioned previously. Got there about 1:15 am and danced till 2:15 when they closed. I managed to get one beer before the bar closed and I just took it on the dancefloor and got my groove on. I dance badly, but I don't care, so do half the motherfuckers there. More than half. It's fun to dance badly, and it's fun to watch other people dance badly. I saw this one boy dancing badly, slowly, and talking to this guy. I couldn't tell if they were togethor or just friends, but this guy was hot. During the last song before closing I just walked up to him, asked his name, introduced myself and told him he was cute. I was proud of myself. Nothing came of it, but I at least got past my insecurity and made that first step. I felt so good after I did it. He just said 'thanks,' then the club closed and we all went seperate ways. I feel great right now.

It's raining but I don't care. I'm going to school on a vacaton day, but I don't care. I have to go to work today, but I don't fucking care. The worst damn song on this album just came on, but I don't care. And this isn't just apathy, I feel really good. It's not a matter of not caring about anything, I'm just not going ot let anything bring me down today. Let's see if I can keep it up.