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All Or Nothing

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[2001-07-13]-[11:50 a.m.]

I am tired. Still. I woke up at Scott's because he had to go to work, came home and slept another two hours. But I still feel like it wasn't enough. I went to see the Reducers SF last night. I really do like them. I felt weird because I knew all the words and was sort of singing along through the whole set. I felt like a geek. But I am, so who really cares? None of my skinhead friends went. I really wanted him to meet Nick, because Nick is the antithesis of everything people wrongly assume about skinheads. He's been my friend for so long, and I know what he's about, and he's one of the nicest, fairest, most honest boys I've ever known. Frank too. I guess they just have one rocking, honest fucking household. We went to Popscene after the show to track Laura down and see some of his friends. I didn't want to be there, and we were cold. I made him leave quickly. We went back to his place and had some fun.

Today I have few plans. I either need to go see my brother's band tonight or go see Nick's band. Conflicting obligations suck. Oh well. Neither one cares too much what I do, but I care, and that sucks.

I go to New York on Sunday, and I still don't really know where I am staying for four days after the orientation. I can't get ahold of Apphia, the girl who I was going to stay with but seems to have flaked. Scott says he might use his free airline privelages (mother is a flight attendant! How cool is that!) to come for a few days too. That would be sooooo cool. I don't think he will, but I would fucking love it. I've gotten pretty attached the last week or two. I like it.

I need to see some people before I leave, and I know I won't have time for it. That's frustrating.

'We make plans. Collaborate and give to you my better half. Until now, just dead weight, a prisoner of doubt. In a cell we kiss and tell our keepsakes. ...Who would've thunk the thirteenth fell on Friday?' ----'In Sadding Around' by Jawbreaker

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