I used disappointment as an excuse to buy clothes. I am truly gay sometimes. It's horrible. I bought two more pairs of jeans that were ridiculously expensive. I am a pathetic consumer obsessive person on these rare occasions. I did not go to Pride yesterday. I don't like parades much, and I don't like gay functions too much either. Politics aside, I don't like gay guys too much (this is the real heart of my problem). But politically too, I don't like it. Having pride is fine, but I think things like this alienate, separate straight and gay. I think the line is a lot finer than it's made out to be. I think things like this just enforce the stereotypes that society places on gays, that gays place on themselves. Okay, enough politics. Diatribe has ended.

I also went to punk soccer yesterday. I didn't really like it too much. I realized that soccer is the oddest group of people who I used to hang out with. There's Mike, who I haven't seen alone for probably two years, Chris who never has enough time to be a real friend, Bennie, Hugh, and all the kids from school that haven't graduated. It's like, if you put two people from every group of friends I've ever had, you could make this group. It makes me really uncomfortable. I don't kick it with any of these kids anymore. There were only two people there who I do want to be close to now. (Well there's more, I wouldn't mind being friends with Mike again, and Tera and all). But really just these two: There's Max, and this kid Tyler. I met Tyler last month at soccer. He's sweet. He's truly a kid, only in 8th grade. When I got uncomfortable and left, he came with me and we went to the record store so he could buy some things. He seems really nice. He's impressionable, and I like that in a way. I could sort of get him going in a good direction. He's at an age where you just look towards everyone else for opinions on what's good and what's not. Hmm, but it is weird for a college freshman to be friends with an 8th grader. I'm not particularly concerned though.

I'll write about Chris tomorrow. I've been thinking lately.