I've been having more dreams since I started sleeping with him. For years I didn't dream, or at least I didn't remember my dreams. It was probably from too many drugs. But, maybe it's coincidental, but since I started sleeping with Scotty, I've woken up almost every morning remembering exactly what crazy thing happened in my fantasies and nightmares. I like it. I like that half dazed dreaming I go through each morning where I'm not quite awake but I'm conscious and dreaming at the same time. This morning I woke up, then dozed off again and dreamt that I was in a small school bus with Daniel coming back from the beach at lunch during high school. We had been swimming, and his parents were driving us back from Ocean Beach. He turned to me, and we kissed, but it wasn't sexual. I don't know how to explain it. It really wasn't that kind of dream. Then someone standing on top of a building threw rocks at the bus and when the bus stopped the asshole got on the back of the bus and started yelling at me. I stood up (to fight? to hide? to scream? I don't know.) Then I woke up. Wierd dreams. If I don't relate them here, I'll forget.

I like dreaming now. I like not knowing the future.