laura didn't help. i thought she would. i have these days now when i can't leave. when i stay in bed all day, and i don't leave my room. and i didn't even do my homework until just now, and i don't read or do anything and i don't even sleep. i never sleep enough. i'm eating klonopin at night to get to bed and when i wake up two hours later i eat a xanax or two. but it doesn't really help. i feel so weird. i'm feeling very literally shaky right now. and it's not my sugar being low, and it's not cold, i just shake. and it's not like that good shaking i got when i was around dexter before we started dating, where i was scared. or with scott, when i saw him, i got that scared shaking. but it's similar to that. very similar. i've been in my room all day, and i can't leave. i'll leave to go to class. i will, i'm not scared of the outside world. i'm not that fucked up. i just feel weird right now. i don't always get like this. maybe once a week. i'm hoping having less classes will make life easier not harder with more time. so far i feel pretty good about it.and OH! we got a roommate! finally. we'll never see him, he works for a non-profit. he's from pakistan and he seems nice and clean. and he doesn't have any shit. and he'll take over the lease when it expires. so things seem nice around that.
I need to take a shower before class, maybe.
'I need a photo-opportunity. I want a shout of redemption.' ----'Call Me Al' by Paul Simon