I miss Scotty. I miss him so much. Frank sent me pictures of Scotty, Britt, Frank and I. When I saw him in the pictures I almost cried. I don't cry emotionally very often, but I've been drying my eyes a lot lately when I think about him and how fucking lucky I am to have met him and stayed with him. This is going to be hard. I talked to him yesterday, but I want to talk to him again. I don't have anything important to say, but I still want to talk to him. Just to hear him. Damnit.

I moved in yesterday. It went smoothly. It was actually a lot easier than I expected. My roommate seems cool. What are the chances: he's gay. I guess at NYU that's not that out of the ordinary, but I'm really glad I didn't get a roommate that's going to freak when Scotty sleeps with me. Jim (my roommate) and I talked about things. And it will be cool when either of our lovers comes to visit.

My Dad left this morning. My brother is gone now. My friends from home don't get out here till later in the week or next week. I'm surrounded by people, but I'm feeling surprisingly alone. I'm making friends okay. I found a few kids from summer orientation that seem cool, and I've been spending time with them. But it's so strange to be forced into relationships with people, to live with people even, that you don't share that platonic bond like I share with my friends back home. It's a wierd feeling.

I wrote all that yesterday. Now I may be getting kicked out housing and possibly suspended from school. I am depressed. I made a bad decision and it might affect the rest of my life. Good night.