I have had an incredible (incredibly bad?) week. I may have broken my finger, or dislocated it or something. Teaches me lesson: inanimate objects make very bad fighting opponents. Namely, never punch walls. At any rate, it is very difficult and painful to type, so I will keep this short. I am in Santa Cruz right now. I'm not going to say exactly what happened in NYC, but I'll say that I almost killed myself on accident and I have stopped drinking. I am not going to be going to NYU for another year, and I'm not angry or dissapointed about that. A last minute decision forced me to make a drastic change of plans. I am in Santa Cruz right now, looking at houses to move into. I am going to look at a place today that is sounding very promising. $600 for a room in a house (really two houses stuck together to make one) with six other people. I don't know any of the others personally, but one or two of them know Scotty. We'll see. I am going to move here though. I can't live at home with my parents. I love them with all my heart, and they've been really cool about all that's gone down, but I still won't be healthy or happy living with them. I also don't want to be in Berkeley or San Francisco. Nearly everyone I love and like is moving away, with one or two exceptions. Everyone I dislike or just don't want to see is staying. So I'm moving here. Scotty's here, but that's not the only reason I'm coming. I'm also going to pay my own way. I want to get a job at one of the bookstores here, or at a museum if it comes down to it. I will be taking classes at community college to keep up with Calculus so that when I return to NYU next Fall, I won't be behind in my Math studies. I will also take enough Gen Ed. classes that I will still be able to graduate in four years if I work hard. I'm happy with this opportunity. My plans changed a whole fucking lot in a very short period of time, but I'm not upset. They're just different, not worse, not better. I'm excited. It's an opportunity to do a lot of shit that I never would have gotten a chance to do, to see, for a long time before I graduated college. NYU is a fucking beurocracy, but I'm not going to get depressed over something that I can make the best of. My hand hurts a lot. Good morning.'Beligerent fools run Manchester schools, spineless bastards all!' ----'The Headmaster Ritual' by The Smiths