I want to die. i want to die. i want to die. I'm going to see dexter in a few minutes, and it's all i've wanted for weeks. I want to hold him, to sleep next to him, to hold his belly with my belly pressed against his back. he wants none of this. he especially doesn't want it with me. and this isn't to say i'm not moving on. i had a date last night, and it went great. the guy might have been a little on the slow side, but he was super hot, and i went out on a huge limb to ask him out. no subtlety. i was amazing. but dexter means heavens and mountains and villages and supernovae to me, even though he wishes he didn't. i wish i was dead dot com