So I feel like I fell into a freezing lake and turned blue and died. That's sort of how I feel. I hurt, and it's not mostly physical and I have no reasons to point to. Is that confusing enough? You know, in Czech, they use tons of double negatives. It's no problem in Czech. You can not like nothing nowhere. I wish you could in English.  Hmm, i wonder if those squares will show up when I submit this?

I don't know. I am not very happy right now.

I registered for classes today. I've got an 8.55 on Tue. and Thu. That sucks. And I've got class till 8.00 on Mon. Wed. So it's going to be a rough sort of semester, but hopefully I won't ever have another like it. And I mean, I'm not taking any classes that suck too badly, except a history class. But still, it's on Ancient Israel, and that should be interesting enough. And I'm taking two different math classes that should be fun. Both new material and all.

I don't know. I'm looking for the good things, and I'm not really finding any.

I should be able to find some.

I really wish they would tell little boys about all this shit when they are little. That way, they wouldn't have to find out the hard way.

I'm not going to kill myself. Don't worry about that. It's a promise I made to myself. Of all the things I've done to myself, killing myself isn't going to be one of them. Not on purpose anyways.

Class is basically done for the Thanksgiving holidays. I mean, I only have one class tomorrow, and it's a math class, so it's fun. My other class was cancelled. Today, I only had one class, Czech, because I cut my Lit class and my Writing class was cancelled as long as we turned our papers in to his box and all. I got a paper back too. Two papers back. One in Lit, I got a B on a C paper. This paper was barely even worth a C, and he gave me a B. It makes me trust him less. And I got an A- on my other essay for Writing. That one might have deserved it. Maybe. It means I'm going to pass all my classes unless something goes horribly wrong in the next two weeks. My Czech final is going to suck, but other than that, the next two weeks should be a breeze scholastically. It's good. I could use the push from it. From the wind. The push backwards. So I don't fall. Fall off. I'm about to, you know. Only, I fell once before. Twice before. Over and over again, I fell. It isn't really frightening anymore. It just sucks. And that's just how it is.

So I might as well not bitch about it. Just say goodnight.

I wish I could breath.

'You're scaring me. You don't seem to care whether I am here or if we're on a trip or what kind of place this is.' ----'Scarin' by The Halo Benders