So I can't really take it any more. I amliving in a fucked up situation, and I am feeling fucking powerless to change it. I really need to move out of my folks house. I feel like shit every day, fighting with them. I love Dexter. We have been looking for apartments together, and I'm so amazingly excited to be living with him shortly. It's a scary but incredible prospect. No, it's more than prosepect, it's the way it's gonna be. Soon too. I've never lived with a boyfriend. Dexter is scared, and I am too, I guess, but he says we're not ready. I wish he was. I don't know if I am. But I know I want to more than anything. And I am ready. He is too, I just don't know that he knows it. I do love him though. And I'm telling him the truth, always, now.
The weird shit is, my folks offered to let D move in with me at their house, and stay here for a few months until we've saved a bit of money. And then P proceeded to make me feel like complete shit and irresponsible and just basically horrible. He does that. It's totally manic. Polar in the extreme. So nice, and then so fucking disrespectful. I'm tired now, and Dexter is shirtless in front of me, looking stellar. So it's time for bed. I feel so good, so safe, in his arms. I want to feel like this forever.
Forever.
'We saw blackbirds circling 'round an old castle keep. And I stood on the cliff and held your hand. We walked troubles brooding wind swept hills and we loved, and we laughed the pain away. At the end of the journey, when our last song is sung, will you meet me in Heaven someday.' ----'Meet Me In Heaven' by Johnny Cash (and no, I'm not religious at all, it's just the Man In Black.)