I came up with two things last night. Alcohol = Honesty. Also, Internet = Honesty, at least for me. These two things are really bad for me. Both have this inclination towards making me honest when I should either hide the truth or just plain lie, or more accurately keep my fucking mouth shut. I've been saying things to people when I've had a drink or two that I just shouldn't reveal. I've been writing things to people that I shouldn't write because I feel safe saying anything in writing. It's not really talking, so it's not real. Right? I know I'm going to end up hurting myself, but I do it anyway.

I probably sound sad right now, but I'm not. I'm really happy. I think Max may want to go out today and I think that it could be fun. I think we are really similar. I don't really know what he does, or what we should do, but we'll figure it out. Hopefully. And I've been thinking about the date that I'm going to ask Erich to go out on tomorrow night. I think I want to ask him to go for ice cream at Fenton's. It's kind of a cheesy first date, but I think it's cute and gives us time to talk and lends itself to kissing. Not that I'm very comfortable kissing in public, but I'm getting better (I think), not that I can really call Popscene public. If you don't get stared at, it's not public. That doesn't make any sense, but it means something to me. That's not saying I like being watched... I can't explain it. I just feel like I'm not going to get hurt at Popscene no matter what I do. I can kiss boys there and no one will look twice. I'm excited for Erich. I liked him a long time ago, but I was never in a situation to express it (he worked at a store that I went to often). Thursday I went to the club, and I was dancing and I looked over and this guy looked familiar. He was cute, dancing badly like me. Eventually we started dancing togethor. I'd had two drinks, and I was mostly sober and level-headed. We danced for a long time, probably close to two hours without talking. Eventually we went outside and I asked his name and he told me and I was like, 'Wow. I know you.' It was cute. I like him.

Anyway, I got his number. I'll call and ask him out tomorrow. I just asked if Max wants to get icecream today. This is going to be a lot of ice cream for two days but, so what. I am relly hoping Max likes me, at least in a friendly way. I'm also really looking forward to talking to Erich. We'll see though. What fun, my heart races thinking about it. Hanging out with Max will be fun too. I'm getting repetetive, so I need to go. I'm getting obsessive. I can feel it. I am such an anxiety prone teenager.

Oh yeah, prom was last night. Nothing exciting to report. Shannon was wierd, but good too. I was mostly sober, and didn't really want to try anything. So we'll see later. I think I'm over it. But we'll see. Repetition again. Oh well, we'll see. Hehehe, Redundency, that's poetry. This is going badly.

Sorry about that.