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All Or Nothing

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[2001-05-24]-[7:55 p.m.]

So I made it what, 12 hours? I can't even stop writing for a whole fucking day. I feel like such a loser. Hehehehe. No, I got a lot happier today than I was yesterday. I still don't really know about what Max is thinking, but I know I want to see him soon. I just finished chatting with the boy, and he made me smile. I don't know anything more than that. All I know is that I like talking to him, even if it is an internet thing. I like seeing him too, but I haven't seen him a whole lot in person. I have liked that though. I don't know. I'm just making myself more weird than usual by writing. I was so happy when he wrote, now I'm just worrying. I'm smiling though, and I like that.

I set up my art show, or at least most of it. It was a ton of work, but it turned out pretty well. I messed up a few of the prints because they fell down when I first hung them. But nothing looks too bad. I got about 15 prints up on the wall, and I'm adding another four or five tomorrow. I'm excited at having so much work displayed to an audience. Maybe it's just the egotistical side of me that like displaying work, but I can't make any excuses. I like being seen. At least in an art type way. Is that so bad?

I'm stoked for what is coming in the next few days. Even disaster can't suck too much. Friends at least? More hopefully, but I guess I'll have to wait and see.

'Be a happy man. Try the best I can, or maybe I'm just looking for too much. There's something missing from my life. Cuts me open like a knife. It leaves me vulnerable. I have this disease. I shake like an incurable. God help me please. Oh, there's a hole in my life. There's a hole in my life.' ----'Hole In My Life' by The Police (yeah, again)

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