My brain sort of hurts. I am sick of bitching about shit. So I won't. Life is good. It is looking up. I am working hard, paying my bills and fucking a lot. And the friends that matter are still around. Daniel, Scotty, Max, Laura, Caitlin, Nick, Frank, and a few more. They are all I need. I don't really try to make new friends anymore. And I like it that way. I have a lot of acquaintances, but true friends are hard to come by. Really fucking hard to come by so I'm trying to stick with the few that won't fuck me over in the end, and the ones I have no interest in fucking over.

Where do I find 1000H-8 clearprint paper? I really like it. I want some. But where, I ask, where?

I have made some irreperable mistakes in the last few years. I have changed things. I have made decisions that I would like to regret. But I try not to. I try, merely, to learn. To not repeat the same futile decisions I have made over and over again. I want to see the cycles, the repetition, the idiocy that holds me from obtaining the things I long for. Sure, this is cheesy. But fuck off, it's true. Doug told me I bitch a lot. He's right. He doesn't know how right he is. Acceptance is the hardest thing for me. I want to make positive change, but I feel like I'm being held by some serious fucking bonds. I don't want to bitch anymore. I just want to work for what I want, what I deserve and what I can get. I am sick of pipe dreams. Enough.