I need to have sex. My boyfriend doesn't seem to want to. It sucks.

I am tired. Last night was okay, but sort of long. I find New Years to be a pretty large letdown, most years. I'm not drinking, and last year I was sober too, and it's basically just an excuse to get belligerantly drunk. Since I wasn't doing that, it was boring. We went to a few parties, watched a bunch of people get stoned, drunk and annoying in Berkeley first, then Oakland, then Walnut Creek, then in Santa Rosa, and finally went back to Scotty's parents place in Marin. Today we went to the Castro and looked for open tattoo parlors, but ended up coming back to Santa Cruz without any permanent marks, but with new underwear (Playboy makes underwear!). New Years resolutions are for losers. I making promises I know I'm going to break. But I'm going to make a few anyway (I am so full of shit). Scotty and I are going to have six months on Friday, and I'm going to promise to try as fucking hard as I can to make this relationship work. I'm also going to stay off drugs. I hate making that promise, because I've never been able to do it before, and I have promised it before. But I am going to mean it this time, and I am doing it now, and I'm gonna keep doing it. That's a promise.

Fuck resolutions.

My bank account is dwindling, due to excessive underwear purchasing, and food consumption. Thank god I'm not drinking, or I would be broke as a joke. I actually have around 450 dollars. But I want to keep my balance above 650 if I can so I will always have at least one months rent in the bank if I lose my job. (I hate asking my parents to pay for me. I'm not asking them for any money so far, since I started making money, other than this months rent, which they agreed to.) But anyway, I need to watch what I spend.

I walked into the cafe where my photos are hanging, and I can be concieted and say they look fucking amazing. I'm excited that my old high school is starting up again either tomorrow or the next day and all those motherfuckers are going to see my work. It'll be validating. (That is, if they even notice it. But hey, SOMEONE will notice. Fuck man, every fucking person who walks in there is noticing damnit, it's great it's amazing, ii'm perfeect!!!) Fuck, I'm just fucking around.

Rock balls! (that's a Sifl and Olly term, if you didn't know). Pour one for Chester.