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All Or Nothing

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[01.20.04]-[4:01 p.m.]

Read the last entry, I wrote late last night. I got hit by a car on my bike, and it's a good entry. Today I want to write about today's holiday, the Hindu holiday Thaipusam. I won't go into the history, or purported history, mysticism I don't believe in. But I like the end result. The idea is that to reach God, one must destroy his ego. I like the idea of such an altruistic holiday. A day to work on oneself. A day to reach holiness not through miracle or beauty or perfection, but of lack of self-aggrandization. Ego. No ego. It's beautiful and I am observing.

My leg hurts pretty bad where I got hit. Unfortunately it is not the same leg that I have nerve damage in and so the pain is palpable and uncomfortable, not to mention debilitating having both legs somewhat incapacitated. I need to call the cops and find out if the lady who hit me's responsible for my medical bills or if, since I was riding on the sidewalk before I went into the crosswalk (green light for me, right on red for her) and smashed into her landing on the hood then the pavement. I thought I broke my leg, but quickly thought I was fine. On the walk home (front wheel of the bike is bent) my leg started to have severe, sharp pain both where I scraped it under my lower shin and also where my upper shin/knee hit the car. I'm hoping it is merely bruising of the bone and not a hairline fraction. But you never know. I'm going to the doc tomorrow, and I'm praying the lady is responsible both for the bill and for fixing my bike. It's not gonna cost her much, but it's hard for me because I'm on such a tight budget. I especially can't afford to fix her car. But I had a green light, and she wasn't looking, so I'm reasonably confident that she'll be held liable.

Anyway, I need to go to therapy, and get ready. I'm looking forward to the State Of The Union. I hope he digs himself a grave he can't climb out of for the election next November.

Read the last entry, it's beautiful, I think. Though I'm not being egotistical about it; merely expressing my feeling about reading it, writing it. It meant a lot to me.

Every Hour Kills A Flower [last entry, early this morning 2:40am]

'The turn of phrase would fill my days with joy. Something like being singing soft and low. As you turn to go. I know I'm not supposed to stare. I'm sorry.' ----'As You Turn To Go' by The 6ths (w/ Momus)

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Did you miss these last few, most recent entries?

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